Walking

Walking, what freedom!

For Sage it started at 13 months. He'd been ready for months, walking from one piece of furniture to another. Suddenly he was ready to cut loose and stride across the room.  One of Sage's first walks included grasping a remote control for the TV in one hand and a play cell phone in the other. He was ready to be technologically ready for the world, now that he was walking in it.

Sage's walking reminded me of his dad, Justin, taking off when he was 11 months old. He went from walking around the house to walking behind his toy lawn mower. It started with him following his dad as he mowed the yard. It then became his way of unwinding after an afternoon in day care. He'd come home and walk out the back door with our dog and go all around the yard, mowing the yard. He became so attached to the lawn mower, that we made sure it went on visits to his grandmother Bettye's  house. He beamed as he showed her he could mow her yard too. She would smile, clap, and sit on the edge of her yard waving at him as he went back and forth over the lawn.

Justin's love of nature hasn't stopped yet. His first job was for a plant and tree nursery. He'd learned many skills over the years helping his dad, playing in the bamboo forest behind our house, planting flowers in his Ohio grandparent's house when they could no longer do it themselves. He learned even more from the nursery. Now he has a garden with cacti, rocks, and several incredible cedar trellis's holding grape vines.

Watching the generational passions flow in their own direction keeps me in awe. Sage has already watched his parent's love of nature take him all over Texas and New Mexico. He has gone on Sunday day-trips hiking, camped over-nite, and spent over a year in a front pack examining all the Austin trails and lakes. There is no telling where he'll be walking next!

Fear and Delight

Take an absolutely curious 2 ½ year old, add walking into a huge room with clear six foot tall tubes running up, across, and around a room and it might be too much. “Let’s go together,” you reassure. Slowly the shoes come off, the cautious steps are made to start the ascent into the maze.  The first time, caution rules every step and every corner.  Yet delight rules as she triumphantly slides down the tube at the end. 

Millie readies herself for the next run. “Come one Cece, let’s go!” Millie leads Cece, making sure she can navigate each step with her skirt as they move from a crawl to walking through the translucent duct taped clear tube.  Sliding down together completes Millie’s need to master her fears on the maze.

  After playing with the blocks, the pegs, and the wall balls, she’s off to the tubes to play with her parents making family shapes and sizes.

 

Tulsa’s new Children’s Museum is a delight for everyone. The science room was our next target.  Whether it is magnetic fields, vision delights, or lying on a bed of nails, there is plenty to challenge your thoughts in its exhibits. Lying on the bed of nails was Millie’s choice.

 First she had to watch her mom, dad and Cece prove it was safe, and then she was ready! There is nothing like watching eyes move from an intense stare to a sparkle, and a mouth move from a tense tight line to a broad open smile of delight.

 

Millie took the lead, she showed us what she could handle, and she led us through this new museum, including telling us when we had to go. The adults weren’t finished, but she had reached her limit. There’s always the next visit!

Sage's Puppy Love

This weekend I loved watching Sage, my one-year-old grandson, learn which of our three dogs he can really snuggle and cuddle with as he got comfortable at our home.

I loved how he had no fear when all three dogs ran up to him wagging their tails. If he was crawling, he would sit up and look them directly in the eyes, reaching his arms out to each one of them.

Once they checked him out, he started checking them out. Over and over he checked again to see if Giz was still his pillow, Taz the one who licked him and ran away, and Raz the one who told him to leave him alone with a firm, but low growl. Then he would check again to see if they had changed from one time of day to another. The youngest dog, Taz, still loved to lick Sage, run around him, and be close to him without Sage being able to grab him.  If Taz is too slow, when Sage advances then he scoots away-somehow knowing it is up to him to protect himself.

Raz, at ten, is not so kind. As he has aged, his own physical pain has shortened his willingness to be kind to both Giz and Taz. This weekend I watched him closely as he did the same distancing and limit setting. I especially was amazed to see how easily Sage understood without any fear or tears. He just knew and backed away.

Giz, our thirteen-year-old dog was the love bunny for Sage. He became the pillow, the favorite dog bed, the toy that Sage could grab and hold tight. They found each other. Both loved the touch, the comfort, the connection that transcended words.

The 40th Wedding Anniversary

Forty years, it amazes me. I know when I married at the age of 21 that I had no thoughts beyond loving Dan and being ready to start the next phase of my life with him.  I have a vivid memory of the early months as we learned, conversation by conversation, how we wanted to handle money, communicating about social plans, housework, and exploring our future goals. These events occurred as often by one of us breaking some unknown family rule and the often confusing conversation following it. Luckily, acknowledging our differences gave us a safe baseline to create our own family rules.

As I look back, I realize the bottom line is time flew by.  I have become totally enamored with the stages of life. We had a great eight years as a double income, no children, couple. We got to know each other, played hard and vacationed well. I finished my master's degree and got my license as a clinical social worker. After twenty years with two children at home, we briefly had the empty nest. It disappeared in two years with moving my dad in followed by moving Dan's mom in. We discovered the joys, sorrows, and importance of becoming an extended family. I understood loving deeply and profoundly through that experience.  There is nothing like witnessing death to inform a couple on making commitments.

We are committed to each other. The more important something is to me, the more important it is to Dan and vice versa.  I love how well we play together, enjoy our home, and work on our relationship.  Whether we are arguing about our priorities and differences, we work it out and try to honor both of our needs.

Now we get to share all those years with amazing adult children, their wives, and our grandchildren.

My Grandparenting Role Models

My in-laws were and really still are my inspiration for being the best grandparent I can imagine being. They were part of Justin and Mykey’s life from the time they were born until Millie and George died.  Summer vacations and holidays were time with Millie and George. Millie never tired of reading to both of them. George played with them and taught them how to do things as they grew older. 

The boys really could do no wrong as far as their grandparents were concerned. They were able to give of themselves as well as love them unconditionally. As the boys got older, they each had an opportunity to treat their grandparents with as much love and care as they had been given. They became part of taking care of their grandparents as their health failed. They spent their summer vacations from college in Ohio, as each family member took turns being there during difficult last days for George. 

Whenever our family gets together, Millie and George are still there with us, in heart and mind, as we create new memories of grandchildren connecting to grandparents. What a gift we share!

Shopping for Sage and Millie

It is 1^st birthday time for Sage and long visit time with Millie. Occasions which call for gifts!  Shopping for a purpose, especially gifts for others is one of my favorite things!

As I shopped this weekend I found myself drowning in voices in my head. Most of them were my projections of what I thought my mother, my daughter’s in law, my husband, my friends, and I thought. 

I was absolutely overwhelmed as I thought about the right toys, clothes, books and games. First, there is the whole toy target age issue. Do I buy for older than their age, or their age and if older, how much older? Then clothes get complicated too. Do I buy several items at discount or go for quality and fewer items? Do I buy on sale for a good deal, or full value when it seems too pricey?  

Then there is how much is enough, too much, not enough? 

Luckily, none of this internal dialog got in my way. As I shopped for the kids, I shopped for the future, knowing that if it doesn’t fit developmentally or physically now, it will eventually. I shopped for the parents, thinking about the toys they would enjoy. I shopped for me; it came from anticipated pleasure of sharing the toys. Wrapping each gift in anticipation, I am ready for the deliveries ahead.